January 23, 2017

Ninja Turtles Against Trump

Dear Mr. VP,

The kid and I marched on Saturday. Well – my local rally wasn’t actually a march. It would be more accurate to say we stood in a square with 2500 people, 2500 signs, and listened to some ladies sing Phil Ochs songs on a crappy sound system. Kid insisted his sign say:


(By the way, I basically failed art class.)

(And also by the way, he randomly breaks into that chant — “NO TRUMP, NO KKK, NO FASCIST USA!” — on the playground, which is an excellent way to win friends.)


Here’s my sign:


Because Donald Trump is scary, for sure. But ultimately he’s a blowhard who just talks out his butt and says whatever will gain him favor at the time. You, though. You are thoughtful, deliberate, and are looking long-term – with a goal of making our country a Christian theocracy. I think you’re sort of like a viper just waiting to strike. Trump scares me, you terrify me. You’re what keeps me up at night. (Well – you and a preschooler.)


P.S. Dreams about emerging naked from the high school locker gym locker room also wake me at night. Does that ever happen to you?

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