Dear Mr. VP,
Twitter let me know you were at the Super Bowl last night. You were very happy to fly there on a plane with some servicemen, and you also got to chill with George HW and Barbara Bush. Sounds like an awesome time. Your hair looks excellent, as always.
I don’t really give a crud about football. I don’t own a television, so I couldn’t watch the game, and this is about to get my slammed by most of my fellow New Englanders, but…Brady as Trump fan doesn’t make me too happy. So I had no dog in the fight, really. (No Michael Vick jokes here.) Except I think I get a free coffee today because the Pats won? That’s cool.
I did, however, watch Lady Gaga’s halftime show. I’ve liked her for a long time, but not in a “this is my favorite singer EVER” kind of way. More in a “I used to dance with my friends to Poker Face at the bar and now it makes me nostalgic” sort of way.
But I was SO happy that she was performing last night. She didn’t need to be overtly political to protest. Though I would have appreciated a “Fuck Trump” sign, she sang some Woody Guthrie and eventually she launched into Born this Way — and that’s a protest in and of itself.
Just the thought of you sitting in your box listening to her belt out “I’m beautiful in my way / ’cause God makes no mistakes / I’m on the right track baby I was born this way” made even my small atheist heart sing. Did you roll your eyes at Karen? Did you excuse yourself, or did you stare at your phone for the whole performance? Did you pretend to be busy eating an overpriced hot dog? Or did you really have the gall to sit there and look at her and listen to her celebrate the diversity of human experience right up in your face?
I hope she made you uncomfortable. I hope you squirmed. And I hope you know that if you felt that way, it’s because your 17th century ideas on theocracy and social policy are disgusting.