Dear Mr. VP,

Here’s a short list of things I actually did today and preferred over watching a Sean Spicer press conference or a Kellyanne Conway interview:

1. Dug through a trash can to retrieve my Diva Cup.
2. Drove in a blinding snowstorm on I-84 through Hartford. Connecticut has the worst drivers (exception: Rhode Island).
3. Dropped a substantial portion of the ketchup and at least one pickle from a McDonald’s hamburger into my scarf.
4. Listened to my kid scream about how his car seat restraint was too tight until I skidded into a parking lot and took off his sweatshirt.
5. Drove some more on totally crappy roads at max 25 MPH with a full bladder and nowhere to stop.
6. Watched Cars again.
7. Watched Shopkins. That ended quickly because it was so annoying even a 3 year old didn’t like it.
8. Burned my tongue on a Trader Joe’s chicken taco.
9. Cleaned a giant puddle of pee off the floor.

I think I’m speaking for virtually all of America when I say: please get them to stop talking.

D