Your Self Control is Admirable: February 16, 2017

Dear Mr. VP,

Waaaay back in November, when some of us still had hope that your boss would never take office, you did an interview with James Dobson (problem #1) in which you indicated that you would do away with the ACA’s birth control mandate when you took office (problem #2). You were probably very pleased when Republicans voted in the middle of the night to repeal the birth control mandate.

Your argument is that this has to do with religious freedom, and I’m sure that you feel as a Catholic, you should not have to pay for other people’s birth control. Since you’re so devoted to your Church, I’m sure you know that:

In 1968, Pope Paul VI issued his landmark encyclical letter Humanae Vitae (Latin, “Human Life”), which reemphasized the Church’s constant teaching that it is always intrinsically wrong to use contraception to prevent new human beings from coming into existence. 

Contraception is “any action which, either in anticipation of the conjugal act [sexual intercourse], or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible” (Humanae Vitae 14). This includes sterilization, condoms and other barrier methods, spermicides, coitus interruptus (withdrawal method), the Pill, and all other such methods. (

I’m going to assume therefore, since you want to keep all others from accessing affordable birth control based on your personal devoted belief, you have followed your Church’s teachings to the letter and only had sex with Karen three times, resulting in Michael, Charlotte, and Audrey.

Meanwhile, the rest of us schlubs without your apparent self control are sending panicked messages to gynecologists and midwives about IUD insertion.

And about IUDs. Here’s what one looks like:

It goes into your uterus and prevents a fertilized egg from implanting. Here’s my concern: fetal personhood & life at fertilization bills. Do people realize that if the government were to declare that personhood starts at fertilization, that would make women with IUDs — millions of women, some women you know, I’m sure — murderers? 

Oh, but silly me. I forgot I’m just a host. 


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