Victims Of White Extremist Dudes (VOWED): March 1, 2017

Dear Mr. VP,

I admit, I didn’t watch 45’s speech last night. I did get text updates from a few people, but I was asleep pretty early. One of those texts read: “he’s now proposing creating a special office for victims of immigrant crime.” 

Of course I looked that up this morning. VOICE: Victims of Immigration Crime Engagement. 

I’d like to propose a separate office for Victims Of White Extremist Dudes: VOWED. I think this is only fair given white right-wing terrorists “have killed almost twice as many Americans in homegrown attacks than radical Islamists have,” according to a 2015 research study. 

I mean, just off the top of my head (and I’ll admit this is a bit of an island of knowledge for me, so I can probably off the top of my head here more than the average bear) here’s a list of murdering white terrorists:

  1. Christopher Columbus – kicked off a damn genocide, gets a federal holiday. 
  2. Lord Jeffrey Amherst – advocated biological warfare against Native Americans, has multiple towns and a college named after him. 
  3. John Wilkes Booth – murdered the freaking PRESIDENT. 
  4. Lots of guys in the Klan in the 1800s – did you know they murdered at least 1000 African Americans and their white allies in the years following the Civil War?
  5. Eric Rudolph – bombed Olympic Park, two abortion clinics, and a lesbian bar. Killed two, wounded over 100. He put nails in his bombs to act as shrapnel. 
  6. Wade Michael Page – killed six people at a Sikh temple.
  7. Dylann Roof – murdered nine people at an African-American church. Has showed no remorse at all.
  8. Scott Roeder – assassinated abortion provider Dr. George Tiller. 
  9. Frazier Miller – former leader of the White Patriot Party. Murdered three people because he thought they were Jewish. 
  10. Jim Adkisson – killed two people at a youth performance at a Unitarian Universalist church because he wanted to murder liberals and Democrats. 
  11. Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols – Oklahoma City bombers. 168 people dead.
  12. James Charles Kopp – murdered abortion provider Dr. Slepian. 
  13. Kevin Harris – a white supremacist and separatist who killed a federal agent at Ruby Ridge.
  14. Benjamin Nathaniel Smith – killed two and wounded nine others in a multi-day and multi-state shooting spree during which he targeted non-white victims.
  15. Richard Baumhammers – killed five in racially motivated attacks. 
  16. Robert Dear – killed three and injured nine at a Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood. 
  17. Adam Purinton – just days ago, murdered two Indian men because he thought they were Iranian. 

It is clear that we need an Office for VOWED and we need it NOW. I’m calling on you to make this happen. It’s only logical. 


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