Dear Mr. VP,
Not a slow news day for you.
First, we find out you won’t have dinner alone with anyone of the opposite sex but your wife, or go to any event where alcohol is served unless she’s there. It’s almost like she doesn’t trust you, or you don’t trust yourself, or something. Very intriguing.
Second, you gleefully cast a tie-breaking vote to allow states to defund Planned Parenthood. I would go into detail about how devastating this could be for low-income people who depend on PP for routine health care and screenings, but you already know that and literally do not give any fucks at all.
Honestly, how COULD Karen let you out of her sight? I’m sure the women are just lining up to be with someone who doesn’t want to grant them bodily autonomy. It’s because of your square forehead, you know. Irresistible.