God Bless Holyoke: May 3, 2017

Dear Mr. VP,

I’m writing today with some good news.

You’ll be pleased to hear that even here behind the Tofu Curtain in Western Massachusetts, we’re honoring God.

On Tuesday, the Holyoke City Council voted 10-4 to adopt into a rule a phrase that they’ve been using unofficially to begin meetings: “God Bless America, God Bless the city of Holyoke and all its citizens and God Bless the City Council.”

I mean, no big deal, right? The separation of Church and State — what a joke! Who came up with that idea anyway?  I’m sure there’s totally no atheists in Holyoke and so the City Council still represents everyone.


Here’s the real kicker — the best part. The part I giggled about. Among the City Councilors who voted for this rule change was David K. Bartley, who was arrested for drunk driving on Saturday night on his way home from the Mardi Gras, the finest* strip club in all of Springfield. (*I’ve been there, so this opinion is coming from personal experience.) He rear-ended two cars and some folks went to the hospital.

The incident occurred at 9:14 p.m. at East Columbus Avenue and Liberty Street. When asked by police if he had been drinking, Bartley replied, according to the police report, “Of course” and “I only had two beers at the Mardi Gras about a half-hour ago.” — MassLive, 5/2

Apparently Mr. Bartley missed some weeks of Sunday School (1 Peter 2:11: Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Galatians 5:19-21: Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.) but is 100% willing to codify Christian hegemony into City Council rules. At least that places him in some good hypocritical company.


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