Happy Birthday!: June 7, 2017

Dear Mr. VP,

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday dear Mike Pence!

Happy birthday to you!

Today you are 58. Another day older and deeper in debt, amirite?

I think you should spend your birthday doing something really important. 

Jeff Sessions has reportedly offered to resign. Let him. This would be an action worthy of birthdays. I would make you a cake.

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions is a racist. Let me count the ways:

  1. Jeff Sessions: immigrants create “cultural problems.
  2. Jeff Sessions: reportedly called an African-American staffer “boy”.
  3. Jeff Sessions: thought the Klan was ok until he found out they smoke pot.
  4. Jeff Sessions: thinks the NAACP is communist and un-American.
  5. Jeff Sessions: supports mass incarceration and the drug war.

Also: he voted against the Violence Against Women Act, supports the travel ban and is generally Islamophobic, and doesn’t believe crimes against LGBT folks should be considered hate crimes.

So do something monumental to celebrate this birthday. Happily accept Sessions’ resignation. And then tell me what sort of cake you like.


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