Pence/Jesus 2020: August 7, 2017

Dear Mr. VP,

Monday. And, the kind of Monday that is going to require multiple coffees and some of the this on the ride to work (first day of a new job!)

If you had any notion that moms sleep better when their children are elsewhere, let me tell you that you are wrong.

Wondering what your Monday was like, after a weekend of denying that you’ll be running for president in 2020.

Yeah, yeah. I get why you have to deny this. Your boss started running for election in 2020 the second he took office in 2017. “Don’t mess with the boss” is a good piece of advice even if you don’t have a crazed megalomaniac in charge.

But let’s see what the New York Times has to say:

Mr. Pence has been the pacesetter. Though it is customary for vice presidents to keep a full political calendar, he has gone a step further, creating an independent power base, cementing his status as Mr. Trump’s heir apparent and promoting himself as the main conduit between the Republican donor class and the administration.

The vice president created his own political fund-raising committee, Great America Committee, shrugging off warnings from some high-profile Republicans that it would create speculation about his intentions. The group, set up with help from Jack Oliver, a former fund-raiser for George W. Bush, has overshadowed Mr. Trump’s own primary outside political group, America First Action, even raising more in disclosed donations.

First, it feels so right that your PAC is called “GAC”, which is the noise I make whenever I think about you, along with a face that one might make when they’ve smelled something unpleasant.

More importantly, though, of COURSE you’re setting yourself up for 2020. You would be a complete idiot NOT to be setting yourself up for 2020, and we would all be complete idiots to think this wasn’t your end game all along. Get into office as VP. Look like a reasonable alternative to a scary treasonous oaf, even though you are actually in no way reasonable. Make a bid for president.

And the scary thing is, it might be working.

Some in the party’s establishment wing are remarkably open about their wish that Mr. Pence would be the Republican standard-bearer in 2020, Representative Charlie Dent of Pennsylvania said.

“For some, it is for ideological reasons, and for others it is for stylistic reasons,” Mr. Dent said, complaining of the “exhausting” amount of “instability, chaos and dysfunction” surrounding Mr. Trump.

Look, I’m not saying we shouldn’t get rid of Donald Trump, because we should. But I’m really horrified by the thought that you’re even being floated as an IDEA for 2020, and that people are seeing you as the calm and measured alternative. Do we all need a reminder of the fact that your policy positions are, at best, as horrifying as 45’s and, at worst, actually scarier?

I suppose you probably wouldn’t start a war with North Korea with a Tweet, which is positive. But that’s about the only thing on my pro list.

D

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