Delivery: August 11, 2017

Dear Mr. VP,

WordPress tells me today’s one-word prompt is delivery.

So let’s talk about appropriate ways to deliver certain kinds of messages.

  1. If you are the leader of the free world, it is almost never appropriate to deliver a message that includes your opinion that someone is crazy. Choose your words more carefully or don’t say anything at all.


2. If you have a bear eating your trash, do not deliver a message at all. Just let them be and clean up the trash the next day. (Personal experience early this morning.)

3. When your country is on the brink of war with another, particularly a nuclear power, do not use Twitter to deliver the message about the fact that you are “locked and loaded.” Pick up the damn phone, or re-consider your message altogether.


4. It is almost never appropriate to use electronic communication to deliver the message that you are breaking up with someone, unless you are legitimately worried about your safety.


5. Please deliver your resignation letters ASAP. Before we’re all dead. 45’s letter should be addressed to Rex Tillerson. I’ve mocked up a letter here, he can just copy into a Word doc, print, and sign.

The White House


August 11, 2017

Dear Mr. Secretary:

I hereby resign the Office of the President of the United States.


Donald J. Trump


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