Dear Mr. VP,

My mom, paraphrased, tonight:

“What are you going to write about? Lots happened today!”

Let’s just hit all our bases, shall we?

• Nobody likes the tax plan that passed today except for you and the 227 House members who voted for it.
  • Nobody likes it because it screws over essentially anyone who isn’t rich.
    • Grad students, in particular.
• You totally knew about the Russia stuff.
  • You’re pretty good at playing dumb.
    • Jared Kushner is probably not going to enjoy jail.
• 210,000 gallons of oil leaked from the Keystone Pipeline in South Dakota.
  • Pipelines aren’t safe.
    • Would prefer a wind or solar leak.
• There was a giant unidentifiable booming sound heard today in Alabama.
  • Perhaps the sound of Roy Moore’s Senate bid imploding.
    • Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.
• Al Franken should absolutely be investigated.
  • And probably resign.
    • Along with your boss, who has been accused of inappropriate behavior by more than sixteen women. And one of them is 13.
• Trump sucks.
  • Roy Moore sucks.
    • You suck.

D