Doug Jones: November 26, 2017

Dear Mr. VP,

A few weeks ago, I donated to Doug Jones. Because Roy Moore is a creepy Islamophobic fundamentalist pedophile.

Since donating, I’ve discovered that Doug Jones’ communications team is made up of a parrot and a sixth grader who just learned how to send mass emails and is doing it using MS-DOS.

I mean, those are terrible. And since donating, I’ve come to assume that every time my phone buzzes, it’s either my boyfriend, or Doug Jones. (They are not, let’s be clear, one in the same.) I think I’ve gotten three emails from DJ just today.

But what’s REALLY too much is waking up this morning to find our president on Twitter, tacitly supporting a pedophile.

Even if you think Doug Jones is a disaster (and he isn’t) how do you vote for a man who had police tailing him because he was known for harassing cheerleaders at high school football games?

Nothing, not even a massive quantity of the shittiest and most poorly designed emails, should have anyone pulling the lever for Roy Moore.

Your boss is a creep.


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