Batali: December 11, 2017

Dear Mr. VP,

Today I was at the gym on an arc trainer and got a text with a link to an article. This is how I found out Mario Batali is a sleazebucket harasser. I can’t be the first person today to have thought, “I wonder where he stuck his noodle?”


Am I surprised to find this obnoxious Crocs-wearing Food Network star is accused by multiple women of groping them? No, not really. I don’t know that anything really surprises me these days.

Tom Colicchio wasn’t surprised either, and while on the one hand I’m thinking “So why didn’t you call this out earlier?” on the other hand, he wrote a pretty bomb column about it all.

Yes, today was a day that will forever haunt Italian chefs with Croc fetishes.

Also, though, let’s not forget the other allegations that were re-noted today: the ones against your boss. Fifteen women have come forward. The White House position is that all fifteen are lying.

While Al Franken should have stuck to Al Franken in his speech about resigning (and yes, he should have resigned), the point is taken: if we’re going to boot senators and representatives for these crimes, we should also be booting our president, who has, perhaps, double the number of accusers.

I mean….it’d give you the job you want, right?


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