Dear Mr. VP,
I’m going to tell you a story about me today, if that’s okay. I am a millennial after all, and we like to talk about ourselves. I’d drown myself in avocado toast if only avocado didn’t make me violently ill. Just be happy I’m not going to include a selfie or a hashtag. Probably.
Way back a long time ago, in a world in which I had no children, two incomes, and a recent promotion that gave me a paycheck I’d never experienced before in my life, I decided it was very important to have a nice wallet, that other people would know was nice. I don’t know why this was important. Lord knows what had happened to the Abbie Hoffman-reading anti-capitalist of college. She was buried for awhile.
There it is.
Anyway, today is the anniversary of the day my divorce became final. It’s been more than a year and a half before it was initiated, and about a year and a half since we moved out, but even with an incredibly amicable and quick process, Massachusetts makes you wait to be sure you aren’t changing your minds (NOPE) and so it was December 21st before I was officially not married. I celebrated last year by getting a haircut.
It’s been a year (and a half) of getting back to myself. I wouldn’t say I’m going to be liberating any lamb legs from Whole Foods anytime soon a la A. Hoffman, but I have, both mentally and physically, gotten back to a place much closer to the one I was in before I lost my way a bit and for some reason thought I desperately needed a Coach wallet.
I ditched it today. Well, it’s still in my bag, and maybe I’ll sell it? Or just donate it somewhere. What does one do with a fairly dirty sort of expensive wallet? I don’t know the protocol.
I did move all my stuff (license, debit card, $1 in cash, my Antonio’s pizza punch card — you know, the important stuff) into this, which I just bought for myself.
I’d say at this point it’s a better fit.
It’s also why you should be afraid of your political future. Because I’m not the only bitch getting stuff done. While I’m writing you every day, other people are organizing, voting, and protesting with everything they’ve got. We’re all getting stuff done, and slowly but surely, it is working. It is fucking slow, and fucking frustrating for those of us with no patience, but it is happening. Yes, the monstrosity of a corporate giveaway passed, but we will not forget in 2018 that you sold out our futures, and the futures of our children. We’re getting stuff done.