El Scorcho: March 6, 2018

Dear Mr. VP,

As a person with emotions who was born between some particular years, I own some Weezer albums. Pinkerton is the best one. (Go ahead, fight me on it. Hold my hipster beer.) For days when you are feeling like a moody teenager, there is almost nothing better (save Jimmy Eat World’s Bleed American, which I’ve also had in rotation today.)

Anyway, because I went to a liberal arts college that prides itself on an interdisciplinary pedagogy, and also because I was a high school debater, and also because I am sort of an asshole, I can link almost anything together. This means as I was sitting here listening to the lyrics of “No Other One”, I thought about you.

My guess is you are not a) a person of a certain age or b) a person with emotions, so you can take a listen to that YouTube video if you’d like to experience the song firsthand.

If you don’t want to listen, here are the lyrics I’m specifically thinking of:

My girl’s a liar

But I’ll stand beside her

She’s all I’ve got

And I don’t wanna be alone

My girl don’t see me

When she’s with my friends

She’s all I’ve got

And I don’t wanna be alone


Now every time I hear this song, I’m going to think about your adoring gazes at Donald Trump. (I hope I don’t need to break it down for you, but he’s the “she” in these lyrics. I’m assuming you got that, but maybe I shouldn’t assume.) I can’t believe you’ve even ruined 90s emo for me.


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