Face Licking: May 4, 2018

Dear Mr. VP,

I’m so torn. Responsibly, I feel like I should write about your response to Michelle Wolf’s jokes (you took them like a real martyr). I could write about how you are currently speaking at the NRA convention about how much you stand for the “sanctity of life” but I honestly don’t know how often I can call one man a hypocrite.

I really just want to write about this CNN article I just read: The NHL’s ‘Little Ball of Hate’ Who Loves to Kiss His Enemies.

This is Brad Marchand.


I’m a Bruins fan, so I’m going to call him a “troublemaker.” Anyone who is a hockey fan will identify this as a euphemism.

So anyway, this article is all about how Brad Marchand has kissed quite a few players in the NHL. Some congratulatory kisses for his teammates, some with opponents, clearly designed as provocations.

Marchand kiss

Yes, there is kissing happening in this photo.

I don’t know why this delights me so much. It’s probably because I’m a total jerk.

Apparently there is some debate as to whether or not the NHL has asked Marchand to stop kissing opponents. The story was picked up by news outlets, but the NHL Deputy Commissioner says no, they have not been in touch with Marchand.

These are the pressing issues I’d really like right now. Not, “Is our president colluding with Russia?” Rather, “Should NHL players be licking the faces of opponents?”


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