Dear Mr. VP,

This weekend I learned I can pardon myself. Well, I think at least. I’m not the president, but I feel like if he can pardon himself for a crime, I can also extend the same sort of forgiveness to myself.

Today, I am forgiving myself for having nothing to write to you. After searching for something on CNN, googling you with the “past 24 hours” filter on, and reading Buzzfeed, I am wholly uninspired. I can, however, tell you what Gilmore Girls character I am based on my preferences in a home. (I’m Luke. That makes sense. I don’t wear a baseball cap but I am fairly ornery.)

So, yes. Like Donald Trump, I am exercising my get out of jail free card.

D