Dear Mr. VP,
Well, darn.
I finally got Andrea Neal’s book out of the library, and then didn’t actually have time to read it today.
Instead, I spent five hours reading last minute college essays.
I think that was likely the less soul-crushing choice, which is sort of saying something.
D
Dear Mr. VP,
The day before Christmas, an eight-year-old Guatemalan boy died at a U.S. detention center.
This is not a hot take, I’m sure. But how are these optics not more problematic for you – a brown refugee boy dying because no one would give him refuge and instead locked him up in a detention center? The night before Christmas? Is your head literally stuck in sand?
D
Dear Mr. VP,
Her name was Jakelin Caal Maquin. She was seven, and she was fleeing an impoverished village in Guatemala. She in Border Patrol custody when she died.
When the head of CBP spoke to Congress last week, he said he didn’t bring it up because he didn’t want to “politicize” her death.
Now, of course, all bets are off and it’s politics everywhere, the general line being “Yeah, tough shit. Don’t bring your kids to this country.”
How very pro life!
D
Dear Mr. VP,
As I read this article, it really struck me that you would be unwilling to have lunch with RBG on your own. I really feel like you could learn a thing or two from her.
D
Dear Mr. VP,
You’re headed to Florida to see SpaceX launch a GPS satellite.
I can’t help but wonder: couldn’t we let someone go who actually believes in science? It seems unfair that you get to see this cool stuff and then go home and keep evolution isn’t real.
D
Dear Mr. VP,
I’m not sure how I just found this video, but here it is. Good Morning America did a feel good video on you visiting Joe Biden for lunch. It’s supposed to be a fluffy feel good political story. Mostly it made me want to vomit.
D
Dear Mr. VP,
Here’s a collection of all the jokes that late night comics made about you post-Pelosi/Schumer meeting. The one where you sat in a chair and didn’t move, as if you’d just dropped a hit of acid and felt rooted to the ground.
D
Dear Mr. VP,
This is the face I make when I’m really over it with my kid.
Are you praying, meditating, centering, or astral projecting?
D
Dear Mr. VP,
On the way home today I heard two stories in quick succession. First, a thwarted anti-Semitic attack. Then, a Boston College student charged with covering a dorm in racist graffiti.
I hate to say it, but my initial reaction was one of resignation. That’s just where we are in the world right now, and I guess we have to deal with it.
Trickle down hatred.
D
Dear Mr. VP,
Nick Ayers – gone?!
Word on the street is he turned down the Chief of Staff job — it was offered, he said no. And not only did he say no to the job, he decided to leave altogether.
So that’s interesting. Does he really want to spend more time with his young kids? Is it really that he can’t wait to run a Trump SuperPAC? Or does he think he should get off the sinking ship now that Individual One is seeming closer and closer to self-destruction?
Stay tuned tomorrow for another episode of As D.C. Turns.
D
